To be the best version of yourself, you have to be willing to ask for help, especially in motherhood. It does take a village, y’all.
I finally decided to hire somebody to clean my house. It was seriously the best decision that I ever made, and it is worth every single penny. It gives me more time for Izzy, and it gives me a few minutes for myself.Excerpt from “Mommy’s Got a Tramp Stamp.“
Get over your pride.
It is such a waste of time and energy to try and do everything on your own. We all need a little help now and then, and there is absolutely no shame in that. As mamas, we shouldn’t have to feel guilty for admitting that we can’t do it all!
If it weren’t for the women at Izzy’s daycare or our housekeeper or my husband or my family, I would not have been able to do any of it. If you want success, you have to get comfortable with the idea of asking for help. It’s hard, especially if you think you should have to do it all, but no great things are possible without collaboration. I believe that in the very core of my soul, people. Where there is someone great, there is a tribe of people standing with them.Excerpt from “Mommy’s Got a Tramp Stamp.“
I am very blessed to have many amazing people in my life. I literally wouldn’t be able to do any of the things that I do without them. In addition to blogging and writing a book, I have a full-time career. No average human can do all this without assistance. It’s impossible; there aren’t enough hours in the day.
Keep your village close. I know all of you ladies are capable of doing anything and everything, but realize it comes at a cost. Don’t sacrifice yourself. You’re not a freaking martyr. I am saying this because this is what I did after Izzy was born. I expected myself to do everything without any help from anyone. Guess what happened? I ended up sacrificing my own physical and mental health so that I could keep up with this stupid idea engrained into my brain. Why? I honestly have no idea. I had help, and I had the resources. For some reason, I just refused to use them. Ladies…let shit slide now and then. Better yet, let someone else deal with the bullshit here and there. You are a freaking superhero. Seriously, you birthed a human; you don’t need to keep proving that to anyone, especially yourself.Excerpt from “Mommy’s Got a Tramp Stamp.“
Find your peeps.
My advice, for whatever its worth, is to let go of the guilt or shame or ideal of motherhood or whatever is keeping you from asking and receiving help, with whatever it may be. If you don’t have family around, find your tribe. Go out into the world and find your people. The people that will hold your baby so you can drink a freaking cup of coffee. As moms, we need the ones that will bounce him/her so you can take a long shower. If you have family involved, use and abuse their offers. When someone offers to wash the dishes or run the vacuum, get over every ounce of pride in your body, and let them do it!
Hang in there, mama. We are all falling apart sometimes.