Relationship dynamic changes. Wow! Having a baby is one of the most amazing life changes that we will ever experience, but it doesn’t come without making some serious changes to the relationships in our lives. There are 4 unexpected relationship dynamic changes after giving birth.
Some are a little more expected than others, and some totally blindside you. It’s important to learn to evolve with our lives and our relationships if we want to be the best version of ourselves.
Friendships
It’s hard to accept at times, but friendships are going to change after that sweet little bundle enters your life. Some relationships will grow and evolve into the best friendships you never expected, but some will fall a little flat. It’s totally normal. It hurts to lose the closeness you once had with some people, but relationships will change with every season, and that’s ok.
You might also feel left out, especially among friends that don’t share your parental burden. Unfortunately, you might no longer be the “fun” one in the group, because devoting all your time and energy to a tiny human isn’t all that exciting…for anyone! You won’t be able to go out for a night on the town at the drop of a hat. In fact, any outing will take a lot of planning and preparation to pull off successfully.
Even though some relationships will change and make you feel not so great, there are others that you will find that truly complete you. You will find yourself having deep and close relationships with people that you weren’t that close with before. All because you share a common unbreakable bond: motherhood. One of the best of all the new relationship dynamic changes is new mom friends!
Some of my mom friends are the most amazing people, and they have my back no matter what. I can call them in the middle of the night when shit is literally hitting the fan, and they know that they can do the same. Relationships like this are fierce, so hold on to them!
Marriage/Partners
This one might be a little more expected, but your relationship with your partner WILL change after you have a baby. It’s completely natural, so don’t let it worry you too much. These relationship dynamic changes are often the hardest to adjust to. It’s just harder to have a real conversation or make time for each other with a tiny human screaming in your ear 24/7.
Communication definitely falls short after you bring that baby home. It just becomes difficult to have a real adult conversation, especially one that doesn’t involve diaper rash, well-child checks, playdate schedules, etc etc. Communication is so important though.
If you want your relationship to thrive during this time, try to talk to each other like adults every now and then. Talk about your dreams, fears, work-life, or anything else that doesn’t involve babies! Even if you only get a few minutes a day to do this, it’s well worth it.
Making time for each other becomes nearly impossible. Personally, my husband and I have only been on a handful of real dates since our daughter was born, but we try to make those dates count! You don’t have to plan a fancy evening out or lavish vacation to get quality time with each other.
Try having a picnic in the living room while your baby is napping, or find a sitter for an hour or so and just take a drive with each other. Make sure you take time to talk and enjoy each other’s company while you do these things. Stay off your phone and in the moment! Your relationship will thank you!
If you are having issues in your relationship, it could be beneficial to talk to someone. Betterhelp offers amazing virtual relationship counseling. Learn more here.
Family
Becoming a mom definitely impacts your family dynamic. You’ll be able to share in experiences with your own mom, grandma, and aunts. It’s like you finally get a ticket to the adult table, and it’s pretty freaking cool. The changes you experience with family is one of the most interesting relationship dynamic changes.
This newfound comradery will also challenge every fiber of your being. Everyone will have an opinion on how your sweet child should be raised. Most of the advice is coming from a good place, so try to keep that in mind. However, it doesn’t make unsolicited advice any less annoying. Just try to nod and smile, and do what you feel is best at the end of the day.
Professional
Working mothers have come a long way in recent history, but it’s still a balancing act ALL of the TIME! We are often still the primary caregivers for our children, so a lot of times we are the ones that have to use a sick day when are babies are ill. This can put some stress on professional relationships.
Co-workers and supervisors that don’t have kids can be a little less than supportive. Heck, even the ones that do have kids may not be the most understanding people in the office. It can be hard to juggle professional life and mom life, but we are amazing creatures. We are basically capable of anything.
No matter what, do not let your journey as a mom have a negative impact on your professional life. I’m not talking about women who choose to give up their careers for their babies, because that is something that is incredibly admirable. I’m referring to the mamas that let themselves feel held back in their careers because they had a baby. You have to be your own advocate. You might need to solicit help. Just keep your options open. We really can have it all.
You might also experience a newfound closeness with some of your fellow mom co-workers! Relationship dynamic changes like this are often unexpected, but they are also great. You’ll have people close by that are going through the same trenches that you are!
