As moms, we already have the weight of the world on our shoulders. We are the appointment schedulers, time keepers, dietitians, navigators, and housekeepers. We generally do it all.
Like, seriously, we’re freaking superheroes.
This is a hard topic for me to discuss, but it needs to be said. You are not responsible for your partner’s happiness. Not at all. In fact, you are not responsible for anyone’s happiness, except your own.
I struggle with this concept. I’m a typical people pleaser. Everyone else needs to be happy, even if it makes me miserable. This is INSANE, and it needs to stop.
When I became a mom, this people pleasing obsession intensified. I wanted to make everybody happy. There were so many people to please. My baby, my husband, my family, his family, my friends, his friends, etc. I put myself at the bottom of the list.
For some reason, I feel like it is my responsibility to make sure my husband is happy. When I experienced postpartum anxiety, I would try to shield him from my emotions. I’m sure this made my situation worse, and it was completely unnecessary. My husband has always loved and supported me. Always. We don’t have to shield our partners from anything. They’re grown. They can handle it.
At some point, we need to start prioritizing ourselves.
Our happiness doesn’t need to get pushed to the sideline every single time. If your spouse gets upset about something, don’t let it bog you down. In my husband’s case, he would never want his mood to affect me. We can’t put it on ourselves to fix everything.
I’ve talked to so many mamas that rank their partners over themselves. We go out of our way to please them. It’s ridiculous. Ladies, our happiness is just as important as anyone else’s. PERIOD. We do it all, and we should get to enjoy life every now and then.
Mama, it’s time to get your groove back.
In my book “Mommy’s Got a Tramp Stamp,” I talk a lot about hating your partner, figuring out marriage with kids, and living your own truth. It will be published soon, but I am offering pre-order on my website. Check it out.
